Thank you for checking out the mini fiction writing workshop, in which I share actionable tips for fiction writers. Each workshop starts with a question. In this case, we’re looking at why adverbs are problematic in fiction writing.
Okay, on to the topic of the day!
What is the trouble with adverbs in fiction?
If you have read my mini workshops before, you know that I don’t like to talk in absolutes. This is because as soon as you say, “Do this, don’t do that,” and “here are the inviolable rules of fiction writing,” some talented writer is going to break the rules and show that it can be done gracefully.
So, in my humble opinion, this is not a rule. And in fact there are very few actual bottom line rules for writing. But there are some really good guidelines. And it is especially important for new writers who are just spreading their wings to study them and use them to improve their writing.
One of those really good guidelines is: Do not use adverbs in fiction writing. (Or, at the very least, kept them to a minimum.)
There are two key reasons:
- Adverbs kind of smack the reader with information very indelicately. Instead of showing what’s happening in dialog and action, adverbs tell them what’s happening, and even tend to go so far as to tell the reader how to think about it. (And as we all know, one of the jobs of the fiction writer is: show, don’t tell.) And…
- Using adverbs in your fiction writing is kind of an announcement that you are a new, untrained writer. Publishers will likely set your work down, and send you a polite form letter telling you that your work is not what they are looking for at this time.
What is an adverb?
But let’s step back a moment and talk about what adverbs are and how to spot them.
From yourdictionary.com: “The definition of an adverb is a part of speech that provides a greater description to a verb, adjective, another adverb, a phrase, a clause or a sentence.”
Adverbs very often end in -ly.
Examples:
- She walked purposefully.
- The dog barked loudly.
- The boy backed away shyly.
I was discussing adverbs in fiction writing with a colleague today, and found this great resource to share with her: English adverbs list. The total number listed at this writing is 3782.
I know what you’re thinking. That’s a lot of words to cut out of your language repertoire. But trust me, once you start practicing omitting adverbs, you will not miss them.
What are some ways to replace adverbs?
This is the most important part of this post. Adverbs aren’t bad in some intrinsic way. The main issue is that there is typically a better way that is more descriptive, does a better job of involving the reader, and makes the writing more real, intimate and compelling. Readers are more likely to keep reading once they start.
Let’s look at some ways to trade out adverbs.
Example one
Let’s say there are two characters, Barbara and Nancy. Nancy is trying on wedding dresses and Barbara has come along to give her opinion.
You could writing it this way, using an adverb:
Barbara looked at Nancy, approvingly. “Yes, choose that one!”
Don’t you think it seems kind of flat? It’s because the author hasn’t left anything to our imagination. We can just skate across the surface of this story without engaging our hearts and minds. We’ve been told Barbara approves, and that’s that.
Let’s try again, using action and richer dialog to convey approval:
Barbara watched Nancy step out of the dressing room once more. This time, her breath caught, and she brought her hand to her mouth. “Oh my! Yes, I like that one. You’ll be a stunning bride.”
Example two
In this example, let’s try for a mood. Maybe we want to develop a really creepy scene that makes the reader’s skin crawl.
You could sprinkle your writing liberally with adverbs in an attempt to create impact:
Hannah pushed open the door to the walk-in refrigerator. It creaked frighteningly. Inside, meat slabs hung grotesquely from hooks attached to the ceiling. Hideously, blood dripped from the carcasses.
Now, let’s see if we can rely on imagery, sounds and action to tell the scene more effectively:
Hannah pushed open the door to the walk-in refrigerator. It creaked, too loud for this small space. What would she see inside? It was dark and oppressive. A strange odor wafted over her. She could not be sure she was alone. Just inside the door, she reached for the light switch and flicked it on. She was completely unprepared for what was there. Before her, meat slabs hung from ceiling hooks. Each of them was dripping with fresh blood.
Some take-aways
Hopefully, that gives you ideas. Let your dialog, action and sensory details tell your story without intrusion. What I mean by that is that when we use words like “eagerly,” “pretentiously,” or “sheepishly” to describe the behavior or thoughts of a character, we insert ourselves into the story. We are basically saying, “Don’t think or get involved. I’ve written this for you, complete with summaries of emotions and physical features to guide you. Follow me! Stay close, now. I want to make sure you see this just how I intend.”
As authors, we should not be present. The story is a place for the scenes and characters to come to life, and for the reader to immerse. We should provide the story, the sensory experience, and the invitation to step into a world we have created, then we should fade into the background.
Here are a few additional resources for you:
- Writing Tips: Abolish the Adverbs, from Writing Forward
- Adverbs: The death of good fiction writing, from The Writing Cooperative
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this mini writing workshop.
The writing workshop collection
You can browse my collection of writing workshop posts in the links below.
Mini workshop series
Short posts on specific writing topics:
- Mini writing workshop: Is there a shortcut to good writing?
- Mini writing workshop: Can you get paid to write?
- Mini writing workshop: Is there anything wrong with using italics for emphasis?
- Mini writing workshop: What is the best way to write dialog?
- Mini writing workshop: What should we know about your character?
- Mini writing workshop: Who are you writing for?
- Mini writing workshop: What does “show, don’t tell” mean?
- Mini writing workshop: Can you write if you don’t have time? (Finding where you can fit writing into your life)
- Mini writing workshop: What should you write about? (Ideas for finding inspiration for your stories)
- Mini writing workshop: How do you start a story? (How to determine the starting point)
- Mini writing workshop: What is magical realism? (Exploring the magical realism genre)
- Mini writing workshop: Should you write in present tense or past tense?
- Mini writing workshop: Must your character do that? (About writing tics and character pet peeves)
- Mini writing workshop: What’s it all about? (About story lines)
- Mini writing workshop: Must we fight? (About conflict in fiction writing)
- Mini writing workshop: What’s the point? (About making things happen)
- Mini writing workshop: What prompted that? (About writing from prompts)
- Mini writing workshop: Who said that? (Tips for writing dialog)
Mini workshops within 50-word prompt posts
Brief workshops, typically 3-5 paragraphs, at the top of 50-word short story challenge posts:
- Mini writing workshop on “tense”
- Mini writing workshop on the editing process (with a walkthrough example)
- Mini writing workshop on taking time to write
- Mini writing workshop on the power of editing
- Mini writing workshop on critique
- Mini writing workshop on fixing punctuation errors
- Mini writing workshop on mainstream publishing (with a resource for 50-word story authors)
- Mini writing workshop on voice and language (as compared to the importance of plot)
- Mini writing workshop about becoming a great writer
- Mini writing workshop on contests and challenges
- Mini writing workshop on what makes a story a story
- Mini writing workshop on demystifying story writing
- Mini writing workshop on 50-word short story writing process
- Mini writing workshop on the steps for writing 50-word stories
- Mini writing workshop on micro-fiction and writing succinctly
- Mini writing workshop on the “why” of writing
- Mini writing workshop on the challenge of micro-fiction
In-depth workshop posts
The original writing workshop series:
- Writing workshop: The beginning
- Writing workshop: Exploring voice in writing
- Writing workshop: Say what you want to say
- Writing workshop: Getting organized and actually writing
- Writing workshop: Tips for writing anywhere, anytime
- Writing workshop: Should you write historical fiction?
- Writing workshop: Prompts, contests and challenges – oh my!
- Writing workshop: Pushing through insecurity and writing anyway
- Writing workshop: Perspective and POV in fiction writing
- Writing workshop: Second person point of view in fiction
- Writing workshop: How to write your character’s background
- Writing workshop: What to do with all these voices in my head?
- Writing workshop: Write your story from a logline
- Writing workshop: Three tips for improving your fiction
- Writing workshop: How to accept criticism on your fiction writing
Keep writing!
About Jayna Locke
Jayna Locke is a Minnesota writer who has had a lifelong love of fiction. Her short stories have appeared in a range of literary journals, including Great Lakes Review, Portage Magazine, and Bright Flash Literary Review, as well as several anthologies. Her collection of short stories, Somewhere in Minnesota, is available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Kirk House Publishers. She is reachable through her contact form at bit.ly/ContactJayna or on X at www.x.com/@jaynatweets.