Thank you for checking out the mini fiction writing workshop. In this series I share small, actionable tips for writing fiction. Whether you’re a seasoned or developing writer, hopefully you will find some useful information.
If you’ve been writing fiction for some time, you have heard this expression perhaps more times than you can count: “Show, don’t tell.” Brand new writers may have heard the expression, but haven’t yet encountered examples of showing vs. telling.
Let’s explore this!
What does “show, don’t tell” mean?
To “show” instead of “tell” is to illustrate ideas and feelings instead of delivering them to the reader pre-interpreted. Instead of doing that, we want to provide impressions that allow the reader to do the interpreting.
Why? Because the reader is much more likely to become involved in the story. Writing that tells can feel very flat and lifeless. If you tell us your character is angry, we might just shrug it off. But if you tell us your character feels a vein throbbing at his temple, we experience it and believe it.
Showing vs. telling: A craft to learn
It’s not easy to do, especially when you’re new to writing. You may want to tell your readers everything. For example, if one character says something mean to another character, it might be tempting to write, “Sammie felt very sad and she wanted to cry.”
But you don’t need to do that. There’s a more powerful way for a reader to experience your story than to be told exactly how to interpret what a character experiences. That is the essence of “show, don’t tell.”
Anyone can master this with practice.
Showing vs. telling: Examples
Here are some examples.
Tell: Cecilia was very hungry.
Show: Cecilia stood on the sidewalk outside the bakery. Steam rose from a pan of fresh rolls. For a moment she imagined their warmth and sweetness in her mouth. Then she swallowed and walked on.
In the second example, we get into Cecilia’s head. We imagine the desire for the warm sweet rolls that are out of reach and unattainable, and we start to feel what she feels.
Tell: Joe thought Bob was stupid.
Show: Joe watched and said nothing. Bob continued picking up pieces of the washing machine he had disassembled, then setting them down again. He scratched the whiskers on his chin.
Here we are looking at Bob through Joe’s eyes. We can see that Bob is a little ridiculous. Why did he disassemble the washing machine, if he really didn’t have the skill or knowledge to put it back together? That’s not very smart.
But if we tell readers that Bob is not smart, or that Joe thinks he’s dumb, we actually take away their opportunity to become involved in the story, and to see and feel that for themselves.
Tell: A blind woman walked along the street. Reynaldo worried she would hit him with her cane.
Show: A woman walked along the street, sweeping a white-tipped cane back and forth. Reynaldo jumped aside.
This third example is perhaps a bit more subtle. But you can see that instead of using labels or describing what the character feels, we show it. It is perhaps a bit less like telling a story than it is like painting a picture. Show the world you are building, and the characters within it, instead of telling the reader what to see.
Is “show, don’t tell” a hard and fast rule?
No, it definitely is not. It’s a guideline for improving your writing and making it more engaging and compelling. After all, don’t you want to taste the hot fudge instead of someone telling you what it tastes like?
But in my humble opinion, there are times in every piece of writing when it’s okay to tell. For one thing, as you can see in the examples above, it can be a matter of brevity.
Maybe you don’t have the luxury of an extensive word count limit to describe everything in intricate detail. And sometimes, telling a bit of information is kind of like putting a backdrop on a stage; it is there for scene setting but it’s not the story itself.
I will illustrate with another example. Let’s say it is an autumn evening and Randy is going to walk below Tricia’s window to see if he can get her attention. The fact that it’s autumn isn’t the story. That is the backdrop.
Example:
It was autumn. The moon hung low and golden in the sky. Randy jogged the two blocks from his house, then slowed to a walk on Tricia’s street. The light was on her second story bedroom. He made an owl sound. Nothing. He scuffled through the fallen leaves, making a dry crunching sound. The curtain moved.
So, this little vignette starts right out with telling, doesn’t it? If I was going to be strict about showing instead of telling, I would have started with the crunching leaves instead of coming right out and saying it was Autumn. But here I want to show what’s happening as much as possible through the action, with the hints of autumn as the backdrop.
If you read stories published in top publications such as The New Yorker, you will see this all the time. Here’s an example from “The Riddle,” by Thomas McGuane:
After drinking at the Wrangler until closing time one cold November night, I wandered around to Main Street, which was empty at that hour, except for a crippled old cowboy who was making his way toward the railroad yards.
I hope you’ll agree that this is some very compelling writing. But McGuane doesn’t describe the cold; he tells us it’s cold. He doesn’t describe the empty street; he tells us it’s empty.
You can easily over-analyze your writing and get frustrated trying to show absolutely everything instead of telling it. It’s really okay to sprinkle some details into your fiction that could have been shown, simply because you want them as spice, not the main course.
Ultimately, it is your story. You must find your voice and write in a way that is compelling to readers. Work with a writing group or find another writer to exchange writing with and get feedback on what’s working. Getting feedback will help you see where information could be more interesting if shown, not told.
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this mini writing workshop.
The writing workshop collection
You can browse my collection of writing workshop posts in the links below.
Mini workshop series
Short posts on specific writing topics:
- Mini writing workshop: Is there a shortcut to good writing?
- Mini writing workshop: Can you get paid to write?
- Mini writing workshop: Is there anything wrong with using italics for emphasis?
- Mini writing workshop: What is the best way to write dialog?
- Mini writing workshop: What should we know about your character?
- Mini writing workshop: Who are you writing for?
- Mini writing workshop: Can you write if you don’t have time? (Finding where you can fit writing into your life)
- Mini writing workshop: What should you write about? (Ideas for finding inspiration for your stories)
- Mini writing workshop: How do you start a story? (How to determine the starting point)
- Mini writing workshop: What is magical realism? (Exploring the magical realism genre)
- Mini writing workshop: Should you write in present tense or past tense?
- Mini writing workshop: Must your character do that? (About writing tics and character pet peeves)
- Mini writing workshop: What’s it all about? (About story lines)
- Mini writing workshop: Must we fight? (About conflict in fiction writing)
- Mini writing workshop: What’s the point? (About making things happen)
- Mini writing workshop: What prompted that? (About writing from prompts)
- Mini writing workshop: Who said that? (Tips for writing dialog)
Mini workshops within 50-word prompt posts
Brief workshops, typically 3-5 paragraphs, at the top of 50-word short story challenge posts:
- Mini writing workshop on “tense”
- Mini writing workshop on the editing process (with a walkthrough example)
- Mini writing workshop on taking time to write
- Mini writing workshop on the power of editing
- Mini writing workshop on critique
- Mini writing workshop on fixing punctuation errors
- Mini writing workshop on mainstream publishing (with a resource for 50-word story authors)
- Mini writing workshop on voice and language (as compared to the importance of plot)
- Mini writing workshop about becoming a great writer
- Mini writing workshop on contests and challenges
- Mini writing workshop on what makes a story a story
- Mini writing workshop on demystifying story writing
- Mini writing workshop on 50-word short story writing process
- Mini writing workshop on the steps for writing 50-word stories
- Mini writing workshop on micro-fiction and writing succinctly
- Mini writing workshop on the “why” of writing
- Mini writing workshop on the challenge of micro-fiction
In-depth workshop posts
The original writing workshop series:
- Writing workshop: The beginning
- Writing workshop: Exploring voice in writing
- Writing workshop: Say what you want to say
- Writing workshop: Getting organized and actually writing
- Writing workshop: Tips for writing anywhere, anytime
- Writing workshop: Should you write historical fiction?
- Writing workshop: Prompts, contests and challenges – oh my!
- Writing workshop: Pushing through insecurity and writing anyway
- Writing workshop: Perspective and POV in fiction writing
- Writing workshop: Second person point of view in fiction
- Writing workshop: How to write your character’s background
- Writing workshop: What to do with all these voices in my head?
- Writing workshop: Write your story from a logline
- Writing workshop: Three tips for improving your fiction
- Writing workshop: How to accept criticism on your fiction writing
Keep writing!
About Jayna Locke
Jayna Locke is a Minnesota writer who has had a lifelong love of fiction. Her short stories have appeared in a range of literary journals, including Great Lakes Review, Portage Magazine, and Bright Flash Literary Review, as well as several anthologies. Her collection of short stories, Somewhere in Minnesota, is available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Kirk House Publishers. She is reachable through her contact form at bit.ly/ContactJayna or on X at www.x.com/@jaynatweets.