Thank you for checking out the mini fiction writing workshop. In this series I share small, actionable tips for writing fiction. Whether you’re a seasoned or developing writer, hopefully you will find some useful information.
This particular workshop is about one of the most challenging aspects of fiction writing: creating great dialogue.
Okay, on to the topic of the day!
Source: Image by Raw Pixel, Pixabay
What is the best way to write dialogue?
I’m going to summarize my thought about this with one word: seamlessly.
What does that mean? It means this:
Hide the mechanics of dialogue to allow your readers to immerse in your story as quickly and as deeply as possible.
You want readers thinking about the character and the story line and what is going to happen next, not tripping over phrases and treatments of the dialogue that distract from the story.
For example, let’s do a test. Read the following two examples, and then decide for yourself which one draws you in more. Which one makes you feel like you are part of the story, and like it is revealing itself to you bit by bit, and reeling you in like a fish?
Example 1
“Natalie,” Joey said. “Get in the car right now.
“No,” Natalie shouted bravely. “You don’t own me.”
“We’ll see about that,” Joey cried. He gave a hearty yet evil laugh and grabbed her by the wrist.
“Stop it,” Natalie shrieked. She slapped at him and tried to pull away, then she said, “I’m never going anywhere with you again!”
Example 2
Natalie paced just out of Joey’s reach. She looked down the highway and then back at him. “I’m not coming with you.”
Joey stood next to the car. Every now and then he tried to grab her as she passed by. “Get in the car right now, Natalie.”
She stepped back. “I won’t! You don’t own me.”
“We’ll see about that!” In one sweep, he had her by the wrist.
She tried to pull away, and felt his grip tighten. “Stop it! I’m never going anywhere with you again!”
Discussion
Do you see the difference? In the first example, everything that is spoken includes the intrusion of the author. The author tells us “Joey said.” The author tells us that Natalie shouted. Even worse, the author tells us that she shouted bravely. We readers are being spoken to by an entity other than the characters — the author. And the author does not belong in the story, any more than an artist belongs in a painting of the sea.
How do you do it?
The key is to put the reader in the location. Show the reader through action and body language who is speaking.
Here’s an example. Let’s say we want Diana to speak, then we want Barbara to reply. Let’s describe what Diana is doing, and then deliver her dialogue. Then we’ll do the same with Barbara. By doing so, we never have to intrude upon the scene and use dialogue tags like “Diana said,” and “Barbara said” to tell the reader who’s talking.
A wave crashed onto the beach thirty yards past the old pine deck. Diana lifted her glass of wine to her lips then set it down again. “No. I don’t love him.”
Barbara waited, but Diana said nothing more. She looked at the salted rim of her margarita. “But… I saw you. That night.”
“Forget about that, Barb. It was nothing. A mistake.”
We want to build a world for our readers and invite them to step right in and be a part of it. And to do that, we have to get out of their way. Do we have to completely eliminate use of “she said”? No, it does sometimes have a place, especially when clarity is needed. But we do a service to the reader by keeping it at a minimum and putting our writing energy into world building instead.
It takes time to master writing in a seamless way, where the events and your characters’ dialogue tell the story without the obvious presence of the marionette master who is making them do and say those things. But when you do master it, your writing will come to life. Your readers will become one with the story you are telling.
The experience of reading seamless writing is sometimes like watching a movie. We see the sights and hear the sounds and may even forget that we are reading a story.
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this mini writing workshop.
The writing workshop collection
You can browse my collection of writing workshop posts in the links below.
Mini workshop series
Short posts on specific writing topics:
- Mini writing workshop: Is there a shortcut to good writing?
- Mini writing workshop: Can you get paid to write?
- Mini writing workshop: Is there anything wrong with using italics for emphasis?
- Mini writing workshop: What should we know about your character?
- Mini writing workshop: Who are you writing for?
- Mini writing workshop: What does “show, don’t tell” mean?
- Mini writing workshop: Can you write if you don’t have time? (Finding where you can fit writing into your life)
- Mini writing workshop: What should you write about? (Ideas for finding inspiration for your stories)
- Mini writing workshop: How do you start a story? (How to determine the starting point)
- Mini writing workshop: What is magical realism? (Exploring the magical realism genre)
- Mini writing workshop: Should you write in present tense or past tense?
- Mini writing workshop: Must your character do that? (About writing tics and character pet peeves)
- Mini writing workshop: What’s it all about? (About story lines)
- Mini writing workshop: Must we fight? (About conflict in fiction writing)
- Mini writing workshop: What’s the point? (About making things happen)
- Mini writing workshop: What prompted that? (About writing from prompts)
- Mini writing workshop: Who said that? (Tips for writing dialog)
Mini workshops within 50-word prompt posts
Brief workshops, typically 3-5 paragraphs, at the top of 50-word short story challenge posts:
- Mini writing workshop on “tense”
- Mini writing workshop on the editing process (with a walkthrough example)
- Mini writing workshop on taking time to write
- Mini writing workshop on the power of editing
- Mini writing workshop on critique
- Mini writing workshop on fixing punctuation errors
- Mini writing workshop on mainstream publishing (with a resource for 50-word story authors)
- Mini writing workshop on voice and language (as compared to the importance of plot)
- Mini writing workshop about becoming a great writer
- Mini writing workshop on contests and challenges
- Mini writing workshop on what makes a story a story
- Mini writing workshop on demystifying story writing
- Mini writing workshop on 50-word short story writing process
- Mini writing workshop on the steps for writing 50-word stories
- Mini writing workshop on micro-fiction and writing succinctly
- Mini writing workshop on the “why” of writing
- Mini writing workshop on the challenge of micro-fiction
In-depth workshop posts
The original writing workshop series:
- Writing workshop: The beginning
- Writing workshop: Exploring voice in writing
- Writing workshop: Say what you want to say
- Writing workshop: Getting organized and actually writing
- Writing workshop: Tips for writing anywhere, anytime
- Writing workshop: Should you write historical fiction?
- Writing workshop: Prompts, contests and challenges – oh my!
- Writing workshop: Pushing through insecurity and writing anyway
- Writing workshop: Perspective and POV in fiction writing
- Writing workshop: Second person point of view in fiction
- Writing workshop: How to write your character’s background
- Writing workshop: What to do with all these voices in my head?
- Writing workshop: Write your story from a logline
- Writing workshop: Three tips for improving your fiction
- Writing workshop: How to accept criticism on your fiction writing
Keep writing!
About Jayna Locke
Jayna Locke is a Minnesota writer who has had a lifelong love of fiction. Her short stories have appeared in a range of literary journals, including Great Lakes Review, Portage Magazine, and Bright Flash Literary Review, as well as several anthologies. Her collection of short stories, Somewhere in Minnesota, is available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Kirk House Publishers. She is reachable through her contact form at bit.ly/ContactJayna or on X at www.x.com/@jaynatweets.